Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Grow Fonder?

So, my husband has just started a 15 day stretch of work where he will be working alone on those days for 10 hours and be on call the other 14 hours of the day. I have been dreading this 15 day stretch for quite awhile. We have been married now for 8 years and we have both noticed that when we are away from eachother we actually will argue more, get more annoyed with eachother, and just not get along. Who said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? We actually do enjoy our time together, probably more now than ever. We just require more time together. Well I had this notion, I thought since he's going to be working so much he is going to be stressed, he's not going to be here much, and we'll be annoyed with eachother. So why don't the girls and I just go away? So, we are going to go to my friend Amy's parents house in the O.C. Well this was all fine and dandy until I was gone most of today, wasn't home when he got home, and didn't get home until almost 8. I miss him already. Isn't this so pathetic. Now I am all stressed out because the girls didn't get to spend enough time with him before going to bed, and now we are going to leave for a couple of days. So they will not see him until Saturday night. We won't see him! Yeah, I think I am a little too stressed out by this. Our family has become so much closer over the last year, especially him and I. That makes separating for any length of time even harder. It's like leaving you're kids with someone for the first time.

See this is what I needed to do about 4 hours ago. Write it out. Now I realize that I have to be able to do things without him. Right? I don't see how this absence of us going away for two days (yes, I know you're thinking, that's all two days?) is going to make our hearts grow fonder. We still have to put up with the 13 straight days of work. How's that going to make us grow fonder? I guess the good thing is that we like to be together and I just need to focus on that.

I know this is not something I should be getting this annoyed over but I think it's helping me keep my mind off of some other things. I am trying to ignore the pain that my body is starting up with again and I have had a horrible day of breathing. That stuff can really steal your focus.

Whatever!

Julie

Monday, August 07, 2006

Hello to all you bloggers out there!


I am new to the blog world. My friend Julie has been telling me about this for the longest time and I am finally trying it out.

I call my blogspot Breathe Life because I am at a point in my life that requires me to do just that. Seriously, we all go through so many hard times that it feels as if you just can't catch your breath. When did this thing called life start literally making it hard to breathe? For me it is much more than the world we live in that makes it hard to catch my breath. It is a disease that has literally taken my breath and life, as my family and friends knew it, away. As a believer in Jesus Christ though, I can BREATHE LIFE. It has taken two diseases at a very young age of 28 (oops, I forgot I just turned 29) to be able to breathe life as I should. Who needs lungs anyway? I have severe end stage emphysema in the lower lobes of both lungs, and another unknown rheumatologic disease. I have been able to, in the last two months, enjoy this life that I have been given. I feel that my biggest struggle at this moment is feeling as if I am "doing something" with my life. Many people I have heard of with diseases are able to at some point do the things in life that they couldn't do before. I feel as if that stuff is not important. So what, I don't climb a big cliff, don't sky dive, or even run a marathon. I laugh with my kids, hug my husband, and get annoyed with myself for not being able to call all my friends on a regular basis. When did life become caring more for the marks one makes in their "personal best" list anyway? I have to be content with not being able "to do" just things in this life, and that is what this Blogspot will be, breathing life everyday no matter how "normal" it may appear. My commitment is to Christ's will for this life, not mine.

I am excited to meet many people in this spot and learn what you do to breathe life. Thanks Julie for the idea of blogging!

Julie O.