DECEMBER???
I must say I can't believe it's DECEMBER! I would be surprised if anyone else out there said they weren't surprised by that news. Did the bible ever mention that our days would become shorter and our years would go by faster? My goodness! How am I going to remember to write 2007 on checks or signatures? Just a month ago I wrote 2003 on a check! Yeah, I think that proves that I am in denial.
Well I haven't been doing much blogging lately and I am sorry. I know these ramblings tend to get a little long so I am sorry. The good thing is that they will always be on this site so if you get bored this is the one time you can actually turn me off! Well we finally did meet with (the real) Dr. Lynch. This is the transplant surgeon at UCLA. If you have read some of the stuff from before you know that my care was transferred over to his side of the hospital. I was to meet with him in order to begin the transplant process. So in the time of waiting to get in to see him I once again had expectations. I was doing my best to hold onto the comfort of the Lord and give him all of my fears. In doing this I guess I started to hope and actually thought that this was the end of this part of the road. Meaning the solution was before me and that within a certain amount of time I would be on the road to recovery. I must say GOD'S PATIENCE IS AMAZING! I honestly don't think that HE acknowledges ADD(attention deficit disorder) because if HE did HE would no longer have the patience to keep reminding me that things happen in HIS time! I constantly am being reminded that HIS time is not on any physical or mental time continue um. Dr. Lynch explained ALL of the realities of a double lung transplant, and I will be honest none of them were good. He explained to us that he can't guarantee anything, which we knew, but that he doesn't see that this will have a good outcome. The transplants would be a real hard thing to recover from and that the recovery process is not days or months yet years, the rest of my years. He said that he would like to hold off as long as possible but doesn't know how much longer my lungs can. My age is the reason it is so scary to go through with this and apparently the waiting period is only about 1-6 months for a lung transplant. He said that if he were to have seen me walk in the room without my file in front of him he would think that I was a perfectly healthy person. He said "you are happy right now and able to watch your family grow. I can't take that from them. I owe it to your husband to hold off as long as I can". I appreciate that. I know the power of God and I know that if I didn't have him in my heart, and hadn't accepted Him as my Lord and Savior I would be really sick. My body is sick but HE is my pain management and that is why I can do the things I do. That is why I can be happy! Some people don't understand that. All I can say is when you know medically they are shocked at how well you look on the outside and know how horrible you are on the inside (last Nov. I was about 43% lung capacity, now I am at less than 30%) you can't deny God's work. I have had so many people tell me that I need to be healed and need to pray for healing. I now feel comfortable to say what I have been wanting to say to those people. I only know after hearing the testimony of a very brave woman yesterday. Her courage showed me that it is okay to say "DON'T YOU THINK I WANT TO BE HEALED"? So I have to wait. I have to be ready for God's will, not mine. I have to remember that because it is so easy to allow myself to want it to be better now. The good news is that I can still saturate the oxygen that I am getting, this perplexes the doctors and me. I will continue to be monitored on a very close basis and when and if I continue to decrease I will be put on the list.
4 comments:
You are a bright and beautiful JEWEL-E O.! The doctors can tell you what they want, "they can't guarantee anything" (they are right only God can guarantee), "doesn't see that this will have a good out come" (Thank God He SEES and KNOWS ALL), "hard to recover from" (God heals), "would like to hold off as long as possible, owes it to your husband" (WOW, sounds like someone needs a check on who is REALLY in control and little do they know GOD CHOSE THEM FOR YOU!) LOL!
Thank GOD you can walk into a lung transplant room and be assumed to be healthy!!!! PRAISE GOD for that!!!
Julie, for some reason you have this life threatening illness, we don't know why, there are so many ???????????'s. God has amazingly graced you with the ability to see your girls grow, listen to their giggles and Hug and Hold them! You have been blessed! He has given you the perfect life partner picked especially for you!
Through the happy and the sad moments you continuously end your day having been carried through it ALL by your Almighty Daddy!
I am BLESSED to have you as my sister :)
From freeper richardtavor: I can think of only one scripture that applies: Luke 12:
22 And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on. 23 The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment. 24 Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls? 25 And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit? 26 If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest? 27 Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith? 29 And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. 30 For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. 31 But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you. 32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
I think that what the Messiah is saying is that no one knows the hour that he will come for you--not you, not your doctors, not your husband--but only Him. Let G-d be responsible for your health and your body--it is His Temple, and He is the Holy Ransom inside of you! Our Prayers are for total healing, and victory over illness.
Jules - like Amy said - I am blessed to have you in my life - you have always amazed me - and even more so now. Our prayers are that God's hands are totally wrapped around you, the girls and Jr. (we know they are!) and that His hands are also firmly around the doctors that are put in your path.
Keira's been asking about you daily. She loves you! We all do - but you know that!
hmmmm! Everyone else has said it all my friend. It doesn't mean that I don't mean it as well, because I do. God has the answers to all of your questions and will reveal Himself in His own time. Platitudes? No!! You know me better than that. Thanks for sharing your heart. God does have a purpose for your life and that purpose will not change. You may never know what it is until you meet Him face to face (Way down the line, is what I am praying). But don't ever doubt that He does and that He has called you, by name to fulfill that purpose.
I LOVE YOU my friend. see you soon.
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