I can't believe the last time I blogged was June 28th! I saw that right now and thought "why haven't I blogged? What's been going on?". Well for one I had a near hospitalization on Sunday (7/1). It was really scary for me, Manuel, and my friend Laura. We were at church and I was coughing up a lot of phlegm during the service. I was feeling as if I was interrupting Pastor Steve so I told Manuel I was going to go to the bathroom. My friend Laura (who happens to be a nurse) came in to see if I was ok. I tell you I can't sneek out of any room without being noticed. In this case however, it was a good thing. We sat on the bathroom floor together while I "coughed up a lung". I was having a real hard time breathing and took quite awhile to recover from the coughing. Once I felt better we left the bathroom and Laura went to find Manuel (service was over) as I held up a wall and smiled (not really wanting to). Once Manuel reached me he linked arms with me and we started to walk to the car. To me I swear that car was parked so far away. I just looked at it and it was not getting any closer with all the steps I was taking. I couldn't do it anymore and literally was being held up by Manuel. I felt as if I was drowning on dry land. I couldn't get air, I couldn't gulp it, my mouth was open my head was stretched all the way up and still couldn't get any air. At this point Manuel and I know that I have to FOCUS on calming down. When it gets that bad your instinct is to panic. Just like in the movies when someone is drowning. IT WAS HORRIBLE! Once we got home I had two more major episodes. My friend Laura saw one of them and said that it even scared her and she's a nurse. I am praising God that I was with people who could take care of me. I am praising Him that I wasn't alone with the girls because they don't need to see that. I stayed in bed the rest of Sunday, by night I felt a lot better but was too afraid to do anything. My brother and his girlfriend came over and we all talked for two hours on my bed. Cute huh? Then Monday I stayed home and made it through half of the house because I was still scared of having another episode. On Tuesday I spent the day with my mom, aunt Evelyn, uncle Julius, cousin Mazie, and brothers. We went to breakfast then back to my house and then later they helped me go to Costco to do my big shopping. On the fourth we were all back at my house for a barbecue (Manuel's mom, sister, and grandma came too) then we went over to Ventura College for a fireworks show. That was such a nice day! Earlier in the week I was feeling really down about not being able to go out and do all kinds of things with my family since they were all in town with no work. Sometimes it feels like I am watching everyone else live there lives while I sit at the dining room table and wish to go out and do the things they are. I know this is for only a season and I am blessed to have the life that I do, the fun that I do, the family that I do, the laughter that I do, and the breath that I do. However, I would be a fake if I didn't let you know that this is a feeling that I have from time to time. I am still thankful for everything that I have, especially my diseases, I wouldn't trade or wish it to be any different because every trial and every ache teaches me and brings me closer to my maker.
2 Timothy 3:12-13 In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it
