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For those who follow me on Facebook...I have deleted my FB and may come back at some point. I must say it feels oh so good.

Love to all of you!
Julie

Hello? Oh, hi Blog.

Yes, I have neglected you. Yes, I do miss you. No, no Facebook is just a hobby. Of course, you've been in my life for many years...I would never! Ok, alright. Yes, I understand you're hurt. I really do miss you! I PROMISE I'm gonna get better! I have a lot to share with you. Soon. When? Hmm....ok, this week. Sorry!

No hospital!!

I didn't have to stay!!! GOD IS SOOO GOOD!! Just got home...I am SOOOOO exhausted (actually WE are so exahusted! 10hr day at the hospital is a lot! Plus traffic..geez!) I'm trembling a lot (side effect of meds that has intensified the last 4 days due to the low blood and anemia) and have also been getting out of breath (also because of low blood) gotta go back to have other stuff done but they are really hoping for my body to regenerate and do its own thing...they REALLY dont want to have to do the tranfusion if they dont have to. Still no answers as to what is causing it but they will keep watching and studying. Aside from being short of breath my lungs are great. I will get new lab/ultrasound results tomorrow. Going to lay down and am really really sad that I am not going to make it to Training 4 Life tonight : (

Love you!

Update

Just wanted to ask for a little prayer. I'm going in to UCLA in the morning. My blood levels are extremely low and continue to lower. they don't know what's causing it. In addition I am severely anemic and so they want me to come in to "study" and figure it out. There is a BIG possibility that I will be admitted to the Hospital to do a blood transfusion and many more studies. Please pray that this be a very short stay, that the source of what is happening in my body be revealed, and that my girls continue to feel at ease about it. We know that God continues to be in control! This will not keep our minds and faith off of HIM!! Please don't ask them anything about what is going on if you see them...they don't need to worry...just treat them like kiddos...they like that!

The B's

Apparently the B's is packed and is going on a 3 day vacation to San Francisco. She's driving her Barbie car and knows how to get there. She has plans with Nino. Manuel asked her if she had money for gas and she said "yep, I have ten dollars but I don't want to use it on that". I told her it was time for bed and she said "ah, good I get to leave". Then she quietly whispered "gotta get going". These are her bags. Their contents consist of 3 pairs of jammas, 3 pairs of underwear, earmuffs, 2 pants, and a shirt! She's sleeping on the couch so she can get ready to go early! (she secretly promised mommy she's not going anywhere)

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Been 7weeks...

UCLA check up Results: I'm doing great!! They are amazed! All lung function results are over 100% in all areas!! Lowered dose on one med and they don't want to see me again until mid June!! WOO HOO!!

I truely thank God for ALL of this! I feel amazing! I'm a new person and I love love love life!! Everyone who has known me most of my life says that I'm like I was as a teen and a completly different person than I've been the past decade. Manuel and the girls say I'm no longer uptight and laugh a lot more (i take it as a compliment). I'm ME because GOD has made ME, renewed ME, loved ME, saved ME, healed ME, and sustained ME!!! He's done this for you too!! Tell me how....

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Bronchoscopy Results

Results from last weeks procedure are: REJECTION= negative...all other studies straight down the list= negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, and negative! GOD is sooooo good ALL THE TIME!!! All the time GOD IS GOOD!!! Do you hear me??

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Stake out

We are staking out our house. This is top secret.

We will figure out this incident. It has been reported and we have eye witnesses of Max the dog getting out two days in a row. When his owners come home after being gone for several hours he is found laying on the porch at the front door. This case remains open.

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Three months!

Today is three months with my new lungs! This is a huge milestone that I am very excited to have reached. It's an emotional one for me on so many levels too. These past months have brought me through things that I never thought I would have to endure. I have experienced many emotions through it all joy, love, patience, pain, hurt, loss of a friend, hope, anticipation, excitement, anger, confusion, and happiness! Geez how can all of that have gone on in three months?

Today I will go off alone to reflect, pray, and praise God for all HE has brought me and my family through. I will finally write my letter to the family of my donor. I have looked to this day and known that this was going to be the day that I allow myself to fully FEEL AND GRASP all that has happened. I feel the pull, as I type toward, my quiet place...where I know God will be right next to me and allow me to lean on His shoulders for a couple of hours.

It's a good day! It's a GOD day!

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Bumps

While praying for healing for so long you learn to trust God and lean on Him completely. Of course it's not something you learn quickly. It takes you every single day of your life to do. We are called to do this in our daily lives but all too often we get stuck in believing that it is OUR life and OURS to do with. Being healed has obviously been the biggest blessing I have ever received. I have learned so much these past 6 years and I would not go back and change them for anything! No way no how!

There comes a new life with this healing. A new way to live. A new hope. A new trust. A new understanding. And yes, in creeps, a new fear. These things don't magically go away just because you are healed. I think part of me thought this "new" would be "perfect" and maybe even easier than my prior lot. Why would I think that when I know better? Maybe it's because I have been filled with such hope, thankfulness, and joy! I have been thrown into a new trial...well, maybe not so much trial in a bad sense...more like a new way to trust God. A new way to lean on Him. One of my concerns pre-transplant was that I NEVER wanted to forget how much He sustained me. Never wanted to take for granted what He has brought me through. Overall I don't think I will. But being "normal" again, as much of a blessing and miracle it is, makes me feel so many things that I never thought I would have to go through. There is so much emotional stuff that goes along
with complete healing. I am learning. Learning to do so much. Learning to BE so much more. Learning to allow so much more. Learning to be aware of not flinging the doors too wide open, yet.

I didn't think I would have the emotional trials, still. But God has a plan and there's a reason. So I will rejoice, I will remember, and mostly I will listen to my teacher and learn. Because I can't yet make sense of all that has happened.

A drive

I grabbed a coffee, opened the sunroof, turned on the iPod, and started my drive. I had a choice, take the coastal scenic route or the busy bumper to bumper freeway. I chose the freeway. I know it sounds nuts. Who would do that? Well, someone who hasn't had the oportunity to be busy in quite some time. I haven't been "allowed" or "able" to drive out of the city in a year and on top of that have never in 6 years driven myself to UCLA for a doctors appointment. So I was looking forward to this. I felt like an independent woman. Someone who didn't need a "babysitter" or a "caretaker". A normal person! I loved being just another car on the busiest freeway in California.

I arrived a little late. Remember, I said it was bumper to bumper. I rushed in to the building and I'm talking "rushed". I was walking REALLY fast. I remember at one moment taking it all in and hearing the sound of my heels click clack loudly with each step. I was amazed in that instant at how far God has brought me. The struggles along the way are nothing compared to the freedom I now feel. To walk myself into a doctors office, to drive myself, and to take care of myself. HE has gifted me with the ability and has wiped away all inability.

My simple drive gave me so much more than a day in traffic. It gave me the reminder of how precious life is and how blessed we are to be ABLE.

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Today's visit

is praising God because all of my labs and CT Scans are "normal"!! All of my issues with stomach and muscles seem to be med related! For the time being they have put a bunch on hold and will reintroduce at some point...but for now my body is starting to readjust and have more normal days!! I don't have to go back to Transplant clinic for a MONTH because of how well my LUNGS are and my body is readjusting!! Woohoo!! Yipee!!

I will go back to UCLA next week to see an ear, nose, and throat doctor because I have been having a lot of ear and sinus issues. Which really is not new to me but they have to figure out what I can now take that won't counteract my current meds. It's a weird science thing! I am planning on driving myself to that one. Which is huge considering I haven't been "allowed" to drive myself out of the city for over a year! INDEPENDENCE HERE I COME!!

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A great Sunday!

After 8 weeks....TODAY I WENT TO CHURCH! The second I walked in it reminded me of the first breath of fresh air I took post-transplant, refreshingly clear! I have missed my church! The blessing was mine to see the faces of so many loved ones! Words cannot describe how FULL my heart is! (oh yeah, and I even wore heels! That's important too!)

And now to watch football!

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Two months

Two months ago a family lost a son. A son who was not selfish. A son who loved life so much that he decided to donate it. A son who didn't even know who, when, or where this decision would be carried out. A son who was young. This family, who mourns, no longer has their son. I pray that he is in heaven. I pray that they have peace in knowing that their son's life is still being used by God.

Two months ago a family gained a wife and a mommy. A woman who wants nothing more than to serve them. A woman who wants nothing more than to PRAISE AND SERVE GOD all of her days. A woman who can now walk. A woman who can now ride a bike. A woman who looks to the day that she can run a marathon. A woman who has been healed from the enemy of death and illness. A woman who's heart holds every feeling of LOVE, THANKFULNESS, PERSERVERENCE, HOPE, AND FAITH.

Please join me in praying for the family of the 26yr old man that unselfishly gave life through a miraculous way that God has provided! Two months!

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My day

Looooonnnggg 10hr day today! Gone @6:30, @UCLA 8am, finally see Doc @10 (learned they didn't schedule my CT Scans), DISGUSTING labs from 12:40-1:50, CT got scheduled @2, had to drink two huge containers of "coffee" contrast (gag...gag...literally outloud several times), also got an IV of contrast (seriously could they contrast anymore??), and finally home! WHEW!

Results: THEY ARE STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I guess I haven't let you guys know that since my good day last Friday I've been in bed (fetal position) or on the couch all but one day. Between vomitting, digestive issues, and muscle/body pain my body is doing something. We just don't know what it is. Amazingly, today was a good feeling day! eventhough I had to fast 1/2 a day, take meds, do the disgusting lab stuff, and ingest so much contrast! I might know more tomorrow.

Goodnight!

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Another health update

HEALTH UPDATE: Today was amazing! The difference was night and day from the last 4-5 days!! No nausea, vomiting, or body/muscle cramps! (or staying in bed)

My transplant coordinator did call and say my Dr. Is VERY concerned with my symptoms and blood results which show very highly elevated levels in an area he tested. He said "I MUST" go to UCLA ER the second any of those sypmtoms come back. The test he ran doesn't pin point the issue but shows "an" issue.

LET'S JUST PRAY THAT IT IS/WAS NOTHING! AND DOESN'T COME BACK!! I now have to go back on thursday and have a couple CT SCANS done, EXTRA blood, and see the Gastro Doc...oh yay! you guys are amazing prayer warriors and I thank you so much for lifting me up! I love you guys FOREVER!

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Thursday results

Today did not go as planned. Got to UCLA and someone didn't schedule my Bronchoscopy...spent all morning being sick and vomiting while at UCLA (even with no meds in me)...Dr. Decided to change some meds that he thinks is causing it and out a hold on others that aren't helping. I've been nauseas and vomitting today...they were scheduling the bronch to still happen and my Dr. Said instead we weren't going to do it because I was so sick. On a good note my LUNGS ARE DOING PERFECTLY GREAT!! none of this (from what he could tell without looking at today's labs) is a sign of rejection! Praise God. He gave me 2 weeks off and says if this stomach and muscle issue doesn't get better within the next couple days I will go immediately back in to see a Gastro-int Dr. Thanks for all your prayers!

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Thursday 1/14

Hey everyone! Tomorrow is a UCLA day (after a 2 1/2 week break)...it's a BIG appointment where they will do xrays, lung function tests, blood, and put me under for a bronchoscopy. Please pray for peace and for me to stay asleep with no recollection of the procedure and no adverse stomach reactions from anestesia. Pray that I am able to fast and take all of my meds too (it's hard enough to do with food). Thank you!

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Tears of joy!

Hope you all don't get sick of me!

I just teared up and cried as I drove my girls to a class for the first time in 4months (friends have been doing this)!!! I can't say it enough God is good! (is this what babies/children feel when they do something for the first time?)

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Yay!!

I did it!! I did it!! I did it!! FIRST (another) day alone with the girls...cooked breakfast, did school, cleaned a bit, and did lunch!! Make a mental note of my excitement because I don't think there's many women out there that are EXCITED about this stuff!! NOW OFF TO DO LAUNDRY!! (I think I'm most excited that my husband is getting his wife back) It was his first day back to work too!

BTW: I'm feeling a ton better and didn't get sick this morning with meds!! Power of prayer!! Thank God!

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